A few thoughts about Friendships :)

Friends are undoubtedly one of the best relationships a person can choose for him/herself and there are so many positive things that we learn from our friends. However, at the cost of sounding pessimistic I am expressing my opinion about the romanticised version of friendship which is portrayed in media. One can see friendships blossom with non verbal commitments of being with each other, supporting the craziness (sometimes even maladaptive behaviors), letting go of fears, and the most important being temporal continuity i.e. being all the same even after years of communication gap. However, I beg to differ. Over a period of time I learnt a few things about friendships which I did not realize earlier.

1) Any relationship has to be maintained from both the ends. Yes, in friendships we tend to take liberty here and there but taking someone completely for granted and doing irreparable damage in the expectation of forgiveness is not accepted. If the other person is not responsive enough or is not there when you need him/her the most, he/she is certainly not your ‘friend’.

2) It is essential to understand that humans will evolve. Expecting your friends to remain the same way you last talked to them (a few months or years ago) is not wise because it is not going to happen. They will be different people and not accepting it may break your heart.

3) Friends are sometimes jealous of each other (which is not toxic). Envy is an overwhelming emotion which is human and we all experience it. However, letting it go to an extent where things become awkward between friends is really negative to happen. Addressing your feelings in a positive and productive way makes all the difference. Forgiving your friend for a jealous move is appreciable.

4) Finally, don’t judge yourself from the lens of your friends. They may be your best of well wishers but nobody in this world can know your situation (and even worth) better than you. It is good to take opinions and seek advice from friends. We all do that. But believing or following it blindly may be harmful.

Friends are an integral part of one’s life. Try to understand the perspectives of your friends as well. Friendships blossom when they are genuine, if not unconditional. Don’t burden your friendships with too many expectations. After all friendships are prone to mistakes too. Forgive easily, and be more loving. This is what I have learnt from my friendships.