Compatibility in Friendship

Almost all of us can remember at least one time when we felt like changing ourselves to make friends and be accepted into a group.

Almost all of us can remember at least one time when we felt like changing ourselves to make friends and be accepted into a group. We have had experiences where we pushed ourselves to do something just for the validation and approval of our mates. Contrary to this, we have also had experiences when we felt as if we failed to fit in and experienced low self – esteem and isolation as a result.

As a teen going through a cascade of changes and figuring oneself out, relationships can become very complex. Here most of us face a dichotomy, on one hand we are on a path of forming a sense of self and identity, on the other hand we also want belongingness.

Here is when the concept of compatibility comes into play. A compatible friendship can be described as one where all the people involved are accepting of one another and are harmonious with one another. Such friendships allow us to balance the need for both; being true to ourselves as well as finding belongingness with other people.

There are 3 keys to finding compatibility in friendships -

It’s okay to be you -

Sometimes people don’t jell with us and that is completely fine. They may have different tastes, interests and values. However, when we form our own likes, preferences and commit to not changing for others, we naturally find our tribe.

It’s okay to say no –

It can be so hard to choose between a friend and our values. We should always remember that the best relationships always involve respecting boundaries. A good friend will always be understanding when we are uncomfortable with doing something.

It’s okay to let go –

Just like in the case of any other relationship, letting go of friendships that may be doing more harm or simply not working out is okay. People often talk about breakups in terms of romantic relationships, however, breakups in friendships can also hurt the same. It’s okay to feel this way and grieve the loss of a friendship after taking the hard decision.

Want to learn more trouble-free ways to navigate through adolescence? Join us at MannRaahi to explore teen mental health and psychology.